In short
- ADHD symptoms show up inside a relationship: impulsiveness, difficulty organising, trouble focusing, hyperactivity. Impulsiveness in particular can mean fast decisions with consequences for both of you, financial ones included.
- The tension is real but it is not the relationship failing. Understanding which behaviours come from ADHD, and what they land as for your partner, changes what you can do about them.
- It works in both directions. The partner without ADHD also needs to be understood, and the person with ADHD benefits from knowing how their partner is actually affected rather than guessing.
- Practical approaches that help: external systems like shared calendars and written schedules, open and specific communication, smaller goals rather than large ones, and involving friends or family in tasks that are hard to start alone.
- If your mental health is suffering alongside this, that is the point to bring in a therapist rather than managing it inside the relationship alone.
Does your ADHD impact your relationship with your significant other? Do you feel misunderstood sometimes? Do you want to find better ways to communicate and strengthen your relationship with your partner? Keep reading to find some key tips on how to navigate a relationship while having ADHD. Maintaining relationships with ADHD can feel tasking or distracting. However, it is normal to feel this way and here’s why!
Individuals with ADHD deal with symptoms such as:
- Impulsiveness
- Lack of organization
- Poor organizational skills
- Inability to focus
- Hyperactivity
Feeling a bit distracted or impulsive in your relationship is a given. However, it is important to remember that these behaviours can create tension in your relationship. For example, impulsiveness can lead to risky decisions like quick financial decisions. But, this does not mean that having ADHD will collapse your relationship. By understanding your behaviours, how they affect your partner, and by practising healthy coping methods, your relationship and your mental health can flourish.
How can your partner be affected? Your partner can be affected in many ways, emotionally and physically. Although it might not seem clear at the time, it is important to understand how your partner is feeling. A relationship works both ways and it is necessary for both you and your partner to be understanding and compassionate.
What are some ways I can feel better AND help my relationship? The first step to creating and maintaining a fulfilling, healthy relationship is by wanting to do and be better. When dealing with ADHD, certain coping methods might not be as effective as you want them to. However, this does not mean that there is nothing to help; there are various coping methods and treatments that can help you feel better and improve your mental state.
Some of these healthy coping methods include:
- Creating organizational hacks (making schedules, keeping a calendar, etc.)
- Open and honest communication with your partner
- Set smaller goals at a time
- Involve family or friends. Having loved ones be around you or help you with a task can feel comforting and motivate you.
It can feel difficult to focus on tasks and others when your mind is distracted or unmotivated, however by understanding why you feel this way, you can find effective tips and methods that can help you feel better. Remember you are not alone and that it is okay to feel the way you do. A relationship takes work and time, but with the right support and motivation, it can thrive. Please keep in mind that if you are ever feeling that your mental health is suffering, please reach out to a trusted loved one or a psychotherapist. If you are struggling with ADHD one of our expert therapists can help you. Please reach out to us here : contact us.
The service behind this article
Couples therapySee how we work with this, who on the team does it, and what it costsClinically reviewed. Written by Mila Arsenijevic, MSW, RSW · Founder and Clinical Director, and reviewed by the clinical team on 21 March 2023. This article is general information, not a substitute for individual care. If you are in crisis, call or text 988.
